Well this is the first time I've written to you from Express Scripts! I just wanted to say thanks for throwing L. McCourtney in my life. Also, I messaged this dude I met at the ASU/SEMO retreat named K. Reilly. I met him on Saturday when I joined a group kicking around a soccer ball. We chatted about life and he was in the Marines... he was a cool cat! But anyways, I messaged him on Facebook and told him about the whole suicide thing and how I didn't do it and why. He was chill about it and I gave him my number so we can chat more.. Lord, I wanna grow in you and be close again.

Wow God! Met this dude here named L. McCourtney. He told me everything I needed to hear. Maybe I should give this life one more try.

Well Lord, I guess tomorrow is it. I told myself last Sunday, if nothing changes in the next week, then I'm ending it all. So far things got worse. If you're gonna make something happen, then do it 'cause I'm done!

So I'm at this church retreat with SEMO (Southeast Missouri State University) right now. Ben C. invited me here. I'm stoaked about trying to get back in touch with you. I miss being around you. I just miss you.