Lord, I think it's finally time to talk about my Grandpa. I miss him so much and I actually haven't talked about him since he passed away and it just started eating at me today, and I just realized how much I miss him. I have so many memories of him and his house. What sucks is that I took his presence for granted. I thought he was invincible and when he got sick, I ran. I got scared and ran away and I shouldn't have. Lord, you know how much I love him. It was only about a week before he passed that I started visiting him in the nursing home and I was in the room when he passed. That image is forever burnt in my head. Lord, I miss the time we went to Sam's Club to eat all their free samples and I miss going to the pound to visit the animals. I miss going "bumming" with him to all the stores. I miss hearing him sing. The way he talked about grandma was just amazing. His love for her is indescribable. I miss his white '99 Chrysler Cirrus. I miss sitting out on the back porch looking at the birdbath to my let and the tree that grandma planted with a tee spoon (now a gigantic tree) to my right. I remember every room in that house. I can do a complete walkthrough in my mind. And every room and hallway and even staircase has it's own memory(s). Just writing about all this to you is like taking a walk through a movie in my head. I keep tearing up Lord. I wanna just let all this out, but I can't 'cause I'm at work. Lord, who can I run to? Who can I cry to? Bryan W is at work, I can't go to anyone else, can I? I have a feeling Dan is not gonna be around anymore and to everyone else I just act like I'm fine... I'm not Lord!

God, I feel so great right now! I listened to worship music on my way into work and I met this dude named Mike Patrick, he's from Cali. He is sending me your word through texts. I also just met S. Shirley ad I'm trying to tell him about you. He has a huge false impression about you and thinks the bible is a crock of crap. He thinks there is no point of building a relationship with you 'cause he is gay and he thinks he is going to Hell anyways. It hurts hearing that. So, I have four prayer requests. The first is with my co-worker, Portia. I just heard that she is in the hospital for pneumonia and she is on gas right now. The second, my co-worker Kristine brought to my attention that a 4 (I think, but you know) year old girl, Autumn, has cancer and I pray that you heal her Lord. The third is my co-worker Ali, and her dad. I heard he is still battling cancer in his blood. The fourth is for S. Shirley, I pray I can be a light, your light, for him. I want him to know just how good you are and at the same time help me be strong. Don't let me run and give me all the right words to say. Speak through me!

Thanks for keeping me from having an attack. I had a great time tonight and I got to see you in a deeper light!

Lord, I'm kinda scared 'cause I'm about to do a cornfield maze, hay ride, and bone fire with a bunch of people I don't know. The only person I'm gonna know is the pastor (J. Proemsey). Please don't let me have an anxiety attack.

LOL! You would play a Heart song (What About Love) to calm my nerves! I definitely needed that, thanks! I'm still stressed, still feel like crap, but it's getting better.

Holy cow! I'm so overwhelmed at work. There are so many things going on right now and I know nothing about lumber and that's where I am for right now. I'm so stressed, please take it all away from me!

Hey God! I just want to lift up Ali's dad to you right now. I just found out he has cancer in his blood and now it has reached his brain. I pray that you perform a miracle and cure him and we can all rejoice and praise in your great name. Also, if you do choose to take him, please fold your arms around Ali and her family, they are going to need your help. Thanks!