It's been a while since I've written in here. So much as happened that it feels like a whirlwind of emotions are running through me. My cousin Sarah just passed away in a car accident last Friday.. four days ago. I've been having trouble sleeping. Last night I stayed up and cried and finally fell asleep an hour before I was supposed to get up for work. Then Kristine (my department manager) told me her sister knew Sarah and I'm finding out that she was thrown out of the truck window and the truck fell on top of her... man, that image is stuck in my head now. Also, Kristine's sister is telling me the wake is Friday and funeral is Saturday, but Angie (my cousin) is telling me that she doesn't really know.. why would she lie?

Oh man, this morning sucked Lord. I woke up and started getting ready for work and that song, "The House That Built Me" came on. It reminded me of gramps and his hose. I miss him so much. I've been crying at work and I can't stop. Please be with me Lord.. I need you!

So I'm sitting in the park by Creve Coeur's Lake and waterfall and I think It's so amazing how beautiful you are Lord! Everything you make is just beautiful and amazing! I praise you so much for this day and this life. It's so peaceful listening to the water falling and this music on my phone. I pray to you Lord, that I never forget this moment in my life. That I tell my kids about this moment.

So I'm at work right now and the Head Cashier is totally stressing me out. So here I am writing in this thing. Right now would be a good time to pray, so I would like to pray for Alex. I pray that you be with him. Help him say yes or no and help him become humble and to love others more. Help him conquer the sin of lust, 'cause we all know how hard it is to overcome that. Just be with him as he makes decisions in his life. Help ease his mind and be slow to react with anger. Help him be patient with his mom and help him understand her more. Most importantly, Lord, I ask that you help him remain in Your word and help him grow more in You. It is in Your name I pray... Amen.