I'm sitting at CFNI (Christ For the Nations Institute) right now. Robert invited me to a worship night here. I haven't been to church in so long, I forgot what it feels like to worship. I forgot what it feels like to feel an atmosphere shift with His presence. I feel so lost right now. I feel like I'm not even worth God's love. I feel like I don't deserve a friend like Robert. We aren't even close, but I feel like I'm way too messed up to even be cared about. I feel God's presence here, but at the same time, I feel so alone. I feel invisible. The sky could be so clear, but yet I can still find that one gloomy cloud in the sky that ruins my day... why? I just want to be loved. I just want a male friend that is a good influence. I just want God to be as real to me as everyone makes Him out to be. So far, this Robert dude has been more of a positive influence to me than the folks in my life has. Is it God that put this dude in my life to help me turn my life around? Is He using him to help me find my way back?