On my way to get my hat and apron for work tomorrow and Tanner invites me to go to Amanda's/ The usual people are going to be there; Mychal, Ally, and Vince. I appreciate the gesture and everything but it would be nice to be involved in the plan making. Be invited by someone other than Tanner (and I know he only invites me 'cause he is my ride and is stuck with me). I know the second Tanner moves away to Cali Mychal and Amanda will no longer talk to me again and we will go back to being strangers. The only reason why I'm around is because of Tanner. Once I have my car again, IF I have my car again, I'd be really surprised if I get invited out.

I'm sitting in the back seat of Amanda's car being a third wheel right now. There is so much going through my head right now and I'm at the point to where I don't want to live anymore... at all

Today I decided to fast from food for the first time. I'm doing it for Robert L. I've never fasted like this for anyone before, but I felt the need to. I don't want anything to hinder his walk with God or cloud his judgment and I feel like his ex is doing that, which is weird because I don't know anything about her or their relationship. So because of this, I've gone without food this while day and have been praying constantly for him. I've never felt so hungry in my life, but I know this will help. I'm just asking for a word from God!

I'm sitting at CFNI again. Handing with Johnny wasn't bad, but I don't think he is someone I can look up to as a mentor. I really want a group of Christian guys to be around. I need community so bad. I don't want to go through life alone anymore. I'm really to let people in, even if it's going to get me hurt.

Today I was supposed to meet up with Johnny P. at 10am but then he pushed it back to grab lunch because of a meeting... then he told me to be at his place at 1:45 and that he already ate. This makes me really not want to meet up at all...

It is so weird being back in Denton right now. I decided to go to The Village with Evan W. He is now engaged! So much has changed since I last saw him. He sacrificed so much for me when I didn't know Christ and His love. I am so thankful to have him back in my life!

Kari Jobe just got done singing Forever at church. We. just took communion and I'm slowly realizing just what Jesus did for me. I'm realizing those books in the Bible are more than just stories, they are lives lived by real people. More things are making sense to me!