Two days ago, I gave Chad some homework; to do the 5 Love Language text, the Spiritual Gifts test, and the Strengths Finder test. Yesterday, he did all of them. His top love languages are Acts of Service tied with Words of Affirmation (9), followed by Physical Touch (8), Quality Time (3), and Receiving Gifts (1). His top strengths are Adaptability, Connectedness, Strategic, Belief, and Futuristic. His top spiritual gifts are Faith (35), Exhortation (33), Giving (32), Mercy (31), Wisdom (31), and Pastor (31).  After seeing his "personality traits," I feel like I understand him a little better now. I still don't understand why he cares so much about me though.. random side note, I think I'm starting to like basketball... how weird! I've watched two games and was thoroughly entertained both times!

I have been reduced to complete humility with Chad today. We chatted for a bit after everyone left the gym; we talked about quiet time and about demons. We went to go pick up his daughter and I confessed to him about a struggle I've been having and he come at me with straight love. We also prayed over a demon I dreamt about last night (the same one that used to haunt me). On top of all that, he bought me dinner. It was really hard accepting that because up 'til now, no one has ever really gave me anything. I've never really received any gifts from anyone, not even on Christmas. Chad, on the other hand, has given me so much. I don't understand it at all.

I asked Chad what his views on me where three days ago and he said, "emotional, hurt, venerable, caring, loving, loveable, weak, stubborn, someone who would die for me." I'm very curious to see how those change in the next few weeks/months/years. It's crazy to even ponder the fact that Chad will still want to know me that long or even the fact that I may not push him out of my life. I've never had someone in my life that I feel safe around. He is the first person I really look up to. He is a true man of God; you can even see it in his eyes, I how he talks, in how he operates around others. I think it's fair to say that God put him in my life to show me what a true Christ follower looks like.

I was just looking back on the past "entries" in here. One of the last times I wrote in here (11/12/14), I was searching for a mentor and a gym partner. What's crazy is that Chad is now my mentor and he has been training me in the gym. I didn't even put two-and-two together 'til just now! It was a desire of mine and God answered it!

I'm at the Linger Conference at Watermark Church. I got here at 7:30am; it starts at 10. I'm wandering around the church and checking it out and I stumbled across a "prayer room" (an IHOP style prayer room). Tears instantly filled my eyes as I walked in hearing, "Jesus paid it all/all to Him I owe/sin has left a crimson state/He washed it white as snow.

I'm up at Battleground Fitness right now. I feel so safe here, like all of my cares and worries just go away. As I was writing the date, I just realized I got arrested twice this month.. wow! I feel like so much has been stolen from me. What happened to that small town kid? The one that ran when everyone walked. The one that never second guessed anything. The one that didn't care if people were watching. I used to never feel the bruises put on me from people and laughed when I fell down. I would bounce back from every lose. I was always the first to say, "I love you" to people. I love like it wasn't ever going to hurt... what happened to me? I  became not only afraid of people, but afraid of myself as well. I cringe when people say "I love you" to me. I don't let myself get vulnerable because I'm afraid of the bruises. I want to be that kid again. I feel like the city life has changed me for the worst. What's cool is that I'm starting to have hope come back into my life. I feel like a good change is coming, even though my current circumstances say otherwise. I think true healing begins when you come to where you are broken within. That's what I'm starting to do.

It's been a second since I've written in here. I've switched to writing on my phone the last couple times, but I will be back to writing in here again. My lie has been taking a tumble these last couple weeks. Chad has been here for me these last 10 days(ish). I'm at his son's basketball game right now. This day seemed to have turned around for the better. I just hope I don't run or push this guy away like I do everyone else in my life. I feel like I'm learning so much from him; how to be a man of God, how to follow Christ, how to turn from sin. I actually have hope in my life right now.